Monthly Archives: April 2008

It’s Over 9000!

It’s been several years since I first grimaced at a fanboy screaming IT’S OVER 9000! For whatever reason the fact that it was a Dragon Ball Z reference instantly meant what he was saying was awesome and I continued to scream alongside him. Since then it’s been several haircuts and beers later and I hope I have matured out of that carnal state of sleep deprivation and energy drinks. It’s also been that long since I ever heard that term again, until today that is. A friend of mine grabbed me from behind screaming in my ear that something was ‘OVER 9000!’ He then showed me on an amazing article about what may revolutionize the world.

Those geniuses at CERN labs seem to be doing some amazing experiment that may essentially replace the Internet. They have a new system that functionally works like the Internet except it is on average 10,000 times faster than my broadband. Making it roughly 1GB/sec. Try to comprehend that for a second. That would mean you could download every episode of ‘Lost’ in HD in approximately 10 seconds. Or it would mean that you could have a game of an online game of Starcraft running solely off people’s computers, without servers, and still have hundreds of thousands of people playing in a single match.  Of course, this would also mean it would achieve the world’s largest clusterfuck.


The system, called ‘The Grid’, runs on fiber optic cables, which send signals of light instead of our digital signals. Light travels a hell of a lot faster than anything we can come up with so that’s self-explanatory. Another thing that adds to its amazing speed is that unlike cable or DSL it’s not connected to anything other than the Internet. No phones, TV or anything use these wires. It’s not just the cables though you need special hardware and software in your computer as well a s a couple other nice things that we don’t have.

This is currently being used by universities and scientific researchers, but will soon be available to people of grandeur scale. Hopefully this leads to the dream of cloud computing, which means that will no longer need our computers to store information, just to be processors, while we save everything directly to the Internet. Unfortunately for now we won’t have direct access due to plans for it being a private network. Well that’s what they said about the original APRAnet. Still it offers great possibilities for the future. In retrospect I firmly believe that this is in fact over 9000.

To find out more here’s a great article from The Times. Or look it up on Wikipedia. Do that anyways, God huffs a kitten every time you don’t look something up on Wikipedia. Besides, if I lied through this post, Wikipedia will always redeem me.

The Connection is Down

This morning a horrible revelation came upon me. My Internet was down. After trying everything I could think of to get it up and running again, I sat in the corner in a subtle fetal position. There I jonzed, shivering uncontrollably until fate decided I suffered enough and brought it back. Then I saw this:

Facebook girl beaten and shot dead by her father for talking online.

I now look back on my withdrawal with new found merit.

It seems a week ago in Saudi Arabia a young girl was viciously beaten by her father after he found her found her talking to a male being on Facebook. He then shot her. Facebook being the current social networking site is used worldwide by people of nearly every nationality to connect and interact with each other. Most people use these social networking sites to communicate to friends, family and people everywhere, something that wasn’t possible beforehand. Now one of those connections is dead. Someone went and killed her for communicating with another human being. There’s some religion involved, but  that’s something I really don’t want to get into.  This is just insane. There is not much one can do but sigh.

Well, if you think I’m lying, (you would do well to think so) here’s the link. Bottom’s up.

Lies! Lies! Lies!

Before I had any further into…whatever I’m doing, I should let you know that I am a compulsive liar. Nothing I say is true, starting with the previous sentence. Just keep reading this paragraph, it will eventually make sense. So lesson learned here is never trust me. For those who do, there are several grave sites with your names on them.

Now to go further on the talk of lies, the television program the Moment of Truth springs to mind. Not because I watch it mind you, but because it is a fluid, and who can deny, dynamic, cesspool of utter nonsense.

For those of you who don’t know the “Moment of Truth” it’s a television program where its contestants are tied to polygraph devices and asked personal questions, like “Do you ever feel like killing your husband?”

This is where all the stupid people gather for the world’s dumbest greed awards. Who would tell the world your darkest secrets and potentially ruin their lives for cash? Damn. I just realized it’s rhetorical question. Damn human race, it seems we can’t get moronic enough.

Well to further my statement the Colombian (being a Spanish island nation south of Norway) version of Moment of Truth (which is in fact the original version of the show) was cancelled several months ago. This was because the question they asked a lucky female contestant at the time was “¿Usted le pagó a un sicario para mandar matar a su marido?” or in English “Did you pay a hit man to kill your husband?” The woman with 50,000,000 Colombian on her mind answered yes to the question, which would be the truth. This then brought the dilemma of whether of they should arrest her or give her the gracious amount of cash. Being human and unforgiving, they gave her the cash.

Soon after someone screamed lawsuit and the show was pulled. Here’s the link if you want the full report, or if you don’t trust me. I hope you can read Spanish.

What is wrong with the world that it takes until a woman wins cash for killing her husband for the show to get canceled! Is the world this demented? Damn, another rhetorical question. Now if you would please excuse me, I need a drink.

Moment of Truth (Colombian)

Liar – A genus of human found commonly in the household and on gameshows

World Ends Now

Well so it seems that in my infinite wisdom I have formed a blog on the Internet. I am here mainly to give out my opinion on the mundane and useless, to prove more or less that no one cares. I don’t know whether anyone is actually reading this, nor does it matter. Those who do read this blog, I have nothing but pity. I suspect that Nostradamus predicted this as the first sign of Apocalypse, as he did for everything else. However if the world is planning to end I would prefer that someone notify me beforehand.

About myself? I’m a human being (that has yet to be disproved) living in Canada. Yes, that northern wasteland Canada. And yes to your next question there are people here. Last I checked I was male. I hope this stays constant.

I am an observer, and hope to see generally everything (not a sexual reference). I enjoy seeing connections. Meaning how people communicate, how we address one another and how we know each other. The Internet in my nonsensical opinion is built for interaction between human beings, which is something I wish to see flourish. Unfortunately the Universe is built to not run in my favour and now that I said this, some media conglomerate will run up an buy it…or something.

Well to give you a general idea of what this blog is going to be about. I will just post things idiotically intelligent and monotonously nifty. Technology, and media will be a big factor in this. Right now I’m not exactly sure how much. For all I know next week this will just become where I displace my pr0n. I will occasionally rant about things only I care about like used Japanese underwear found in vending machines. Expect to see something about that soon, or don’t. I really hope you don’t.

Well I might as well let the suffering start now. Discover Magazine recently put up an article on how the world’s going to end. The list goes through 20 different ways we all inevitably die. I was increasingly depressed when I found that this blog wasn’t on it. The article itself is something to think about as some way or another one these has got to be right. They list ways nature kills man, man kills man and God kills man. I personally enjoyed the last section that stated the world would end after someone wakes up, having it be a horrible nightmare. It made me pleased for a moment as it would explain the deranged world I live in. Here’s a link

Go fornicate yourself with it