What You’ve All Been Waiting For…

This is probably not my best time to be writing anything, considering my self esteem has recently been punched in the face by exams. But, since I’ll receive my marks tomorrow which will eliminate any esteem I have left, I might as well say something about this.

It Cleans Windows and Doors too!

And on the Seventh Day, Jobs rested

The blogosphere, and much of the Northern Hemisphere in general, has been compulsively shaking in anticipation of whatever Apple was supposed to announce on January 27. I have friends who were  wetting themselves as they slept because of the hype for this device regardless of whether I dipped their hands in water.

Let me tell you all of the story which you’ve been dying to hear. When Wednesday came, all the Apple fanboys gathered around the campfire, waiting for the story Old Man Jobs would tell them. He told them of marketing synergy. He told them of a new product that would guide mankind through the new decade. He told them of the iPad. The device gleamed in the moonlight and shone on the souls of those around him. A boy tried to get close but Old Man Jobs wrenched at his hand and pushed him away.  Everyone went quiet. They knew what the device was, they had always known. Jobs looked between the speckled boys, and knew that they were ready. He dropped soapy water on the iPad and rubbed it against his God-sized iPod with a daring ferocity. All were amazed! It cleaned iPods with an efficiency no one had seen before!

Okay, so no seriously believes or cares to pretend that happened. Anyone who had been remotely paying attention to Apple in the past few weeks knew that there was a tablet coming out. ‘Course, they didn’t know its name could be applied to an interactive mop or tampon. The iPad is  a larger version of an iPod touch, which can access the Internet better, and play Video better on its significantly larger screen. In the basics, it’s a bigger, more powerful iPod Touch. And it’s either going to replace that in my mind or a netbook.

Among technology hipsters, this is sure to be a splash. It appeals to the hipster mentality of sexy device with dubious application. So,  rich university students and 20-30 somethings with a lot of time on their hands are going to love this. High school students will approach this device with a dissimilar familiarity to the iPod Touch, and people who have been using their iPod to listen to music and browse the Internet on their Wifi because they’re too lazy to turn on their computer will probably continue doing that. It’s an intriguing gadget, I’ll admit. If I had a disposable income and a bomb landed on my computer- No, wait I still wouldn’t buy it. At that point I’d save up for a new computer and private detective to figure out how that bomb got there.

In all honestly, I don’t see the practicality of it. I was actually looking forward to this tablet like the rest of these fanboys, but perhaps I was being too optimistic. My dream was a gadget closer to the computer end of the portable device spectrum. For instance, a significant missing feature in my opinion is the lack of handwriting recognition, or a keyboard for god sakes. If I want to use this as a way to manage my e-mail or take notes about something, or even visit a website, I’d rather the capacity to type using a physical input. People may call me out on the keyboard, as there is the ‘keyboard dock’ which looks about as usable as carrying my home computer with me. I can use a laptop for that. And this is evidently my point. If I don’t get the aformentioned keyboard, Adobe flash, a camera, or the ability to multitask, there’s nothing stopping me from pulling out my laptop, even if it’s a tiny netbook, and using that with better functionality.  The one place where it could have gotten me was the 3G Internet, except, I don’t have a proper income to pay for such a thing.

There’s a fantastic chance that I’m the wrong person to make this judgment. First of all to my shame, I’m a teenage blogger, which makes me woefully rantful and unreliable. Furthermore,  I only acquired an iPod Touch in the last month, and while I am thoroughly addicted to it, I don’t see the need for anything bigger. Although, I would buy it immediately if Apple announced that they are actually trying to sell to the Freudian male demographic, so that I can ask people how big their iProduct is without worries.


Posted on February 1, 2010, in Daily Life, Techonolgy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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